Thursday, January 19, 2006

Left Behind II: Tribulation Force


Dir: Bill Corcoran (A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes: The Annette Funicello Story)

Um, yeah. Not much tribulating here. Except for the audience. Yeesh.

Armageddon continues to unfold, slowly, in this second installment in the Left Behind series. Kirk Cameron is back as the interepid reporter bent on exposing the plot of the anitchrist to use the UN as a global government that marks the end of the world. After all the character development (loose term, believe me) of the first, I looked forward to some good old fashioned face melting and judgment of the infidels and horsemen and cool stuff in this one.

Well, the Horsemen show up--on a slide projector. And that's about it, really. Instead of complex Biblical prophecy, I get lame love stories and lots of conversions. It seems that the popularity of the books is not nearly so much in the chilling indict of a Godless world, but in the drama of cyncial individuals who come to Christ through witnessing the faith of another. That might be very compelling for the born again, who went through such an experience. But for us heathens, it is boring. At least the love story has gotten laughably silly. The image of Cameron flirting with a girl in a phone booth (you know, silly faces and faces pressed cheeck to cheeck) while he is waiting for a plane to GO CONFRONT THE ANTICHRIST gave me a pleasant chortle. At least Armageddon won't ruin the puppy love of these cute kids.

And may I just say that the devil is pretty stupid. He lets all of the Christians come in and foil his plans to be proclaimed the Messiah by bringing them into his inner circle. This is the Hell Beast, after all; is his power so limited that screwing around with his cell phone is going to thwart him?

Some promising things, though, near the end. The world's leading Rabbinical scholar is convinced by Cameron to travel to the Wailing Wall (under UN guard, now, global government you know, and represented by one of the dumbest set designs I have seen in a while). There, the Rabbi meets the Witnesses, two preachers just milling around in this super secure area who proclaim the Gospel and breathe Biblical fire on people. Now we're talking! After about 45 seconds of preaching, the Rabbi is convinced and, in a welcome bit of offensivess, proclaims to the world that Jesus is the true Messiah. That the actor is wearing a yamulka while delivering these lines is exactly what I was hoping for from these movies.

Grander themes are beginning to emerge. The antichrist wants to unite everyone under one religion, and cloaks all his deception in talk of peace, unity, and disarmament. It is the cyncial, urban liberals who are most attracted to this new despot. I guess the lesson is only listen to people preaching war and division. But then, I thought the Armageddon was suppoed to be a good thing, that the coming end of the world was when you all (believers) get off this rock and party on in heaven. Why are the Christians trying to stop the antichrist? It HAS to unfold that way, the Bible says so.

Me, I am rooting for the antichrist. At least something cool might happen when he starts to work his magic.



Blogger ronvon2 noted on 1/19/2006 07:37:00 PM that...

A Denver Fan routing for the Anti-Christ. That sounds about right.  

Blogger Omri noted on 1/24/2006 10:16:00 AM that...

How'd rooting for the anti-Christ go for you last Sunday, Denver boy? Maybe you won't be so quick to insult evangelicals next time, huh?